& NOTE TO SELF: STOP STOP STOP!
ugh foreals! i keep hurting myself. it's really not worth it anymore. it really isn't! if it was meant to happen, then it'll happen later. as for now, JUST STOP! ugh, my emotions are mean to me, haha. im so determined to get my shit straight! lol. it was never crooked, but it was pushed to the side often. mhm, my future sounds bomb! im not letting my senior year suck, lol. i needa suck it up now. i can't keep crying anymore. no one wants to see me sad, right? all the bullshit isn't even worth it. i needa show that im stronger now, i needa show that im stronger than i was the last time this happened. i still miss the guy, blah blah, but then what?! what about me? see, thats why i needa slow down with the whole relationship thing. cos when i fall, i give my all. mhm, i wish things weren't like this, but hey? i did all i could to prevent it, but it happened anyway. so it obviously means that it was meant to happen. hm, who knows later? what if we end up getting married? what if i find someone else? i don't know. all i know is that as for now, i need to focus on myself & become more self-self sufficient, so i can provide for mr. right in my future.
in the words of keyshia cole:
"for the rest of my life, i promise myself i will love me first, then you & me."
my future is set for me. & i promise to myself, to my family, & my future hubby that ima make it happen. ima give it my all & still have fun along the way. i look around & see all the single happy people & i wonder why i can't be like them? its cos i focus on the all the bad rather than the good. its a bad habit, but i'll work on it. all i know is that i wanna have the beyonce & jay-z typa love, hah! however, i just wanna be happy on my own, so that when its time to fall in love again, ima do it right :) im not gonna look back anymore, its all about the future for me.
JOHN F. KENNEDY:
"Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future."
mhm, i needa start venting more, lol. it helps me cope alot better than just keeping inside, mhm. blah, so yeah! i feel alot better, haha. no crying this time :) im only gonna take the positives from now on, & remember the happy moments. it's not my business to wonder, riiight? im not stooping down to an immature level & instigate. *ahem ahem. haha!
POSITIVE POSITIVE POSTIVE! thats it :)
we were super cute! haha. good times :)
MELLISSA JOY:
for every bad moment in life, two amazing moments will follow :)
PEACE EASY<3
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